The Wedding Debrief – Did she get married?

If you know me, how much do you love this title? So mysterious. If you are new here then keep reading to find out why by the end of this short entry you will find that question comical.

If you do not like to read, can’t read (no judgement), or just don’t want to – my podcast is also to your right. Feel free to listen to Rayann and I blab about the wedding events.

Let’s get right to the point.

I Krystal Renee and Dillon Harris had been attempting to navigate scheduling a wedding in a pandemic. We were the classic couple that early in 2020 had to reschedule our original date, and then again, and then one last time. We got engaged in May of 2019. So while others may been waiting much longer to get married we also felt the toll of “waiting forever” and with every reschedule my best friend, Anxiety moved in to help me hold my breath and wait on the other shoe to drop. As I have hinted to in previous posts and podcast episodes not only did a lot happen to civilization after March of 2020 but a lot happened in our personal lives. Loss, grief, Grandma fights (and beats) cancer, I suffered an epidural hemorrhage and got a cool buzzcut, more loss, relationships strains, and more that I am I probably just not remembering. Covid may have changed the World and our lives, but in addition to all the mess of a pandemic life does not have a pause button. Life went on for those two years, and some days it felt really dark. Not the kind of dark I like where you can see the stars and no one can tell if you’re wearing makeup or not but the kind of dark that makes you think “what’s the point?”. So, when we reached the day of the wedding, a place historically we had never been, it felt like we had exhaled for the first time in 2 years.

Weddings are cool, they are joyous, wonderful, lovey dovey, mushy gushy, but ours was magic. Our wedding was more than just a celebration of two people saying vows. Our wedding was a triumph of the many battles conquered just to get there. Our wedding was the celebration after a 2 year war we never signed up to be part of but my God we were not quitters. The people around us were not quitters.

Now that you maybe understand how gigantic this moment was let me share my tips. I am not a wedding planner nor do I want to be. However, I am still high off the magic of the day and every couple should feel the relief of the exhale and the magic surrounding them on their wedding day. Magic starts with people. We had an exclusive wedding invite list. Why? Because through pain and struggle comes growth. We grew a lot in the two years it took to get to this day, and you know what? We only wanted the people involved in that growth to be a part of our special day. Our invite list was smaller than most, not because I didn’t want to spend money to feed them (I mean I didn’t want to do that, either) but because they just weren’t involved. The list of “not invited” includes family. Some of which fall into “immediate”. Again, let me pull the “it was my wedding I can invite who I want” but also I wasn’t going to be the bride or the couple that invited people just because it was “standard”. Nothing about me is standard. This day was triumphant, this day was a battle won, and we wanted only that crowd that were involved with delicate pieces of our lives to be there, and you know what? It’s beautiful. There was not a single soul at our wedding (okay, maybe one) that caused us anguish, grief, resentment, or heeby geebies. These were our people. The people that show up for us all the time, and then even more so for the wedding itself. People that have rallied us on through the years, our mentors, our go-getters, the people we love most in the entire World. Don’t invite people your mom knows from 3 decades ago if they haven’t been alongside your life fights cheering you on, it’s a waste of money, and it won’t resonate with you. Don’t invite people “because they’re family”, and I can write or talk on this more as it goes a lot deeper, but family is not blood. Family are the people that show up. Invite only the people that spark magic in your soul. Trust me, it makes the entire day feel like bliss. Bring in the people that count – they will not let you down. Mine didn’t.

My last tip? Getting married before your REAL wedding!! Did you read all the way through this to get to my mystery? Haha. Dillon and I got married 3 months after engagement date. We thought it would be a cute little intimate secret between the two of us getting married a year before our official date. We planned to keep it “our thing”, but pandemics happen and 2.5 years later we had our real wedding. We got married in a scrappy city hall building. I never thought of it until the “big day” but let me tell you what a poker card it is to already be married. I could not give one shit if something went wrong. Because as long as Dillon was there to say his vows nothing else mattered. This isn’t me playing the cautionary tale of “something will go wrong but remember it’s your wedding blah blah” again, not a wedding planner. But if you’re already married, what could go so wrong? We had a venue, a place to party, and surrounded by people that could run the World. My mindset will change when you know you’re surrounded by your home team, your strength, and you’re already married. Everything can go wrong, but trust this statement from a girl that carries anxiety with her in every breath – nothing can go so wrong that you don’t get married – because you already are. Intimately. We told everyone during our ceremony. My life long mentor “married” us and then Dillon shared the news. Most already knew due to my medical injury that year, but the few that didn’t were quite shocked but happy. If you’re surrounded by the right people and you CHOOSE to share no one will be butthurt. Just a tip. I felt relaxed, protected, and ready to have the best day on our wedding day, because I already married my best friend. I had him, my people, and my vows. The world had already caught fire many times before this day and we pushed through it. There was absolutely nothing the World could throw at us that day that we couldn’t kick ass at or if we couldn’t someone in attendance could and would step in and kick ass for us.

Surround yourself with love and your people on your wedding day. I will leave it at that. ❤ Pictures below and more shitshow drama in the podcast!

Check out our talented photographer:

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